60 ways to piss off Itachi Uchiha
by danajo
Summary: 60 ways to piss off Itachi Uchiha a.k.a. 60 ways to get a slow painful death


**60 ways to piss off Itachi Uchiha**

**(a.k.a. 60 ways to get a slow painful death) **

1. Walk up to him and say, "Hi!"  
2. Ask him why he didn't kill Sasuke and keep asking, "Why?" over and over again  
3. Drop a pail of chile/sour cream (mixed) on him  
4. Stare at him for no reason  
5.Point to a part of your face, keep telling him he's got something "rrrriiiiggghhhttt there, no here, no HERE, here damn it! I GIVE UP!" and stomp out madly  
6. Steal his nail polish and tell him Orochimaru took it  
7. Trick him into swearing that he will never kill again--  
8.--when (if!) you do show Sasuke where Itachi is hiding (at the time)  
9. Make Kisame raise his hand and say with an austrilian accent, "I am a nice shark, not a mindless eatin' machine, fish are friends, not food" and try to get Itachi to do the same  
10. Look at his nails, scream, "BLOODY MURDER!" and pretend to faint  
11. Ask him where he got his nail polish  
12. When he falls asleep steal his clothes--  
13.-- and paint his nails pink color  
14. Mess up his hair and ask him why he overslept  
15. Yell, "damn!" for no reason then when he asks you what happened, then say, "nothing..." with shifty eyes  
16. Say random things  
17. Poke him at random times  
18. Keep pretending to throw shurikens or kunais at him (but don't!) and tell him that you thought you heard something past him  
19. Ask him if you can use him and his brother in your disfunuctional family class  
20. Ask him if you can use him as a pratice dummy for fighting  
21. Ask him if he can be your disection project  
22. When he's spying on Naruto tell everyone where he's hiding  
23. Ask him where he got his contacts and ask how much they cost  
24. Keep changing your accent when talking  
25. Ask him if he'll kill your family for you, when he says, "no" then ask him, "Why! You killed your's and this time, make SURE that you get the brother..."  
26. Pratice random jutsu's on him when he's least expecting it and tell him your just checking his reflexes  
27. Blame him for everything that happens (like the rain)  
28. Say he's not specail and you've also got the Sharingan, its just that your wearing contacts  
29. Ask him for different ways to piss him off and don't stop until he helps you  
30. Try to smuggle out his feelings for Sasuke--  
31.--when (again if!) you do tell Sasuke--  
32.--tell everyone--  
33.--tell everyone that HE knows for that matter  
34. Ask him about that sleepover that inculded cell 7  
35. Yell, "SHUT UP!" at him when he's not talking  
36. Scream 'Mistakes,' 'Boulvard of Broken Dreams,' 'Silver and Cold,' and 'My U.S. of Whatever' when he starts talking at the top of your lungs  
37. Scream, then say that you thought you saw the nine-tail fox again  
38. Ask him if you can borrow his cloak  
39. Tell him that the cloak doesn't match his eyes and make a huge fuss about it  
40. When Orochimaru walks by, hug Itachi and yell, "He's MINE!"  
41. Keep asking, "watcha doin?"  
42. When he fights Sasuke, cheer Sasuke on  
43. Say, "Itachi has a heart of gold... if you understand him"  
44. Go through mood swings for no reason  
45. Tell him, you saw him taking ballet lessons a few days ago.  
46. When Kisame is gone say you're having shark fin soup  
47. Buy him a Sasuke pin cushion (a.k.a. voodoo doll) and needles for Christmas (or Hunakah for those Jewish people)  
48. Tell him he broke a nail... again  
49. When he cooks something ask him if its still alive  
50. Ask him if he's a virgin--  
51. --ask him why  
52. Keep rambling on about something.  
53. Steal his headband  
54. Ask him how he scratched his headband  
55. Try and get 'Butterfly' stuck in his head  
56. Ask Itachi, "Why do you get a konoha symbol on your headband and Kisame gets these four lines?"  
57. Scream at the top of your lungs and say you saw an ant  
58. Ask him if he works with Satan  
59. Sing 'Dream a Dream' over and over again  
60. Start a rumor about him and Sakura


End file.
